Hey guys! So recently I ran the San Antonio Half Marathon. It was crazy! I am crazy, but what's new there? Anyways, I initially signed up to run the race because I thought it would be a good physical challenge for me. Then my parents and uncle signed up for it and I began to realize how much my physical activity and my abilities have decreased seince High School. I also began to realize that I was still like ever other High School athlete that didn't continue athletics in college, my routine had decreased and so my abilities were going to too. I knew that was what statistics said, but I still workout and run and keep active, of course it won't be as active as in High School, at least not if I'm not still playing a sport. But I figured that at least I was still working out and that the half marathon was the perfect way to show I still had it. And I did. And I still do I think. But once my parents signed up and were serious about completing it and had a goal I realized that I wasn't as good as in High School. If my parents and I had the same level of race as a goal to complete there was no way I was as good. This was hard for me. I'm very competitive by nature and so being that I'm not that far out of High School and I was very active during that time and the fact that I'm much younger, I felt that I should be better than my parents physical activity wise. What I didn't realize right away or wouldn't admit at least was that this was huge for my mom. She is not active, she doesn't really like to be, but she was setting a goal for herself and was going to complete the race regardless of her time. It was also good for my parents, because my dad supported my mom in her goal and even did the race with her. They started and finished together, and that's HUGE!!!! What I also wouldn't admit, which is normally hard for me to admit, was that when i ran the race I was running it for myself, I was running against myself, not against my parents, not for my parents, not against anyone else there that morning. I signed up for it just wanting to finish it. Then when they signed up for it, I decided to set a time goal for myself. My goal was to finish in 2:15, that's a pretty average goal for most people running a half marathon.
I started out after signing up running a little more, working on running faster for a longer distance. I had trained for about a month or two after I signed up but then I went to Guatemala for a week and didn't run at all and then I just stopped training. I still ran here and there, I still was walking alot with my job, so I was building up my cardio more and more, but I had stopped seriously training. As race morning came I changed my goal to 2:25 because I knew I hadn't been training and I was trying to be realistic with myself.
My parents and I had different goals and registered at much different times and so we started in different corrals. As the start time approached we parted and went to our start places. I met this cool younger women who just started to chat it up with me. She was probably in her later 20's and was from Dallas. She had come with a friend and it was her first half marathon too. We got to chatting a little and strecthed some and met this other women, probably even a little bit older who was runnin the whole marathon, and it was her tenth!!! CRAZY!!! Just a few days before in my Exercise Psychology class we had had a guest speaker and he had said that he didn't see any reason for anyone to run a marathon, ever. Now, upon first hearing this I was kind of like yeah that's just his opinion and most people run them to prove things to themselves and to others. Then I got to thinking about it and hearing how this lady was running her tenth one and I thought, maybe he was right. maybe people don't need to run marathons, especially more than one, if they are going to run one.
The frist corral started the race, and I was in Corral 12. As they started more corrals we started moving towards the start line, I was a little nervous, what if I couldn't finish because I hadn't really trained? What if I didn't finish but my parents did? What if I couldn't run the whole 13.1 miles? We started running finally. The first four miles flew by and I was feeling GREAT!!! I couldn't believe it had already been four miles. Then I approached the end of mile 6 and the marker and the time wasn't too bad, I was almost half way done. I also had to take into account every time I looked at the time that I didn't start when the timer started so I had to subtract some time. I was pleased with the time so far. Then I approached all the fans that apparently line up around miles 7 and 8. All the families. I saw tons of signs. I saw tons of dads and kids cheering on moms. It was so sweet. All these families seemed so supportive and so hands on. I loved it, but at the same time it was kind of hard. At some when I was running I had seen on the back of a lady's shirt something to the effect of "it doesn't matter what's in front of you, it doesn't matter what's behind you, it's only maters whats in you." I thought that was pretty cool. Another pretty cool thing was this guy and this girl running near me at one point. They both had this awesome shirt. It read "New running shoes - $90, new blister preventing socks - $10, race entry fee - $60, running with my [dad/daughter] - priceless." How cool is that? I was somewhere between mile 7 and mile 8 and my ankles just started killing me, sorry for the visual, but I seriously felt like my bone was touching the street, it was so painful. I thought my ankle would break at any moment. There was no way I was going to be able to run the entire 13+ miles. I had to admit that to myself but I hated it. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't even run an entire half marathon, and I used to be an athlete?
Then something amazing happened. God came into the picture. I'm not one to pray. I don't really like to. I will every now and then, and I'm trying to be better about it. I pray when it's hard and I've been asked to pray, I pray if someone else is leading it, and if someone asks me to pray something I will do everything I can to pray for that, but I really am not a fan. I have gotten to a point where I love to thank God for stuff. Like I'll just be doing homework or driving or something and I'll just stop my train of thought at the time and just think God for people in my life right now or abilities I have or things that are going on at the time. It's not often, but it's definitely a start and what I can do right now. But, that day, as I was running along I just started to talk to God. I just started to tell Him that if I was supposed to stop running and not run the whole thing then I would be ok with that and I would stop running. I told Him how thankful I was for the opportunity to run in the race and how thankful I was of the people in my life who support me. I told Him that I wouldn't necessarily understand why I couldn't run the whole thing, but if that's what He wanted or had planned for me, then I would take a break. I also told Him how extremely grateful I was that I had legs and ankles and feet that could support me and that I was able to even run. If you know me at all then you would know that I love to be active and if I couldn't run, my world wouldn't be over, but it would seem very close to over to me. You would also know then that this conversation with God was extremely hard for me. I love to understand things, and not running the whole thing I could not understand. It was hard to even talk to God let alone to say I trusted His plan even though it meant I would have to at least walk a couple steps.
I approached the marker that said I had run 8 miles knowing I was going to have to stop soon or I was not going to make it the whole race. I'm not a quitter or one to normally take the easy road, and to me walking even just one step was quitting. At least that's how I felt when I started the race. I got about half way between mile 8 and mile 9 and I decided it was time to let God's plan be my plan. I stopped and walked about 30-40 steps, pulled to the side to stretch and was back to running again. As I started running again I saw this awesome sign it said "You're feet hurt so much because your kicing ass." It but a smile on my face and I kept running. The first little bit I felt fine again and then my ankle felt just like before in a matter of minutes. I continued this stop, walk a few steps, stretch, run again for the next 3 miles, stopping 3 total times. It doesn't seem like many, but to me it really was. As I approached the near end of the race, I was walking at this point and was going to walk from about mile 11.5 ro mile 12 and then run the last bit no matter how I felt, but then I saw the marker for mile 25 for the marathon and I figured mile 12 had to be close so I just started running. Well, I was wrong, mile 12 came up probably half a mile later, but I told myself from there I was running to the end, so what if I added half a mile to that last bit I ran, all the better for me. I got towards the Alamo Dome where the race ended and I knew there was this hill but I though no way they will end on a hill, and I am one to sprint at the end, so I sprint around the turn but I don't see the finish line so I slow up a bit and then see the hill, we have to run up this hill after 13 miles of running, I have to end at a hill basically. I very slowly climbed the hill and made the sharp right turn and there was the finish line, my ankles were killing me, but it wouldn't be a true race against myself if I didn't sprint across the line, so off I went, as full speed as I could go at that point, there were crazy amounts of fans there, I crossed the finish line and saw the timer. I had not met me goal. But at that moment it was ok. I was ok. I accomplished an even bigger feat, I talked to God, honestly, and tried really hard to hear what He was saying to me and I completely trusted Him and His plan for me, and let His plan become my plan in the race. So what if I didn't finish in 2:25, that wasn't God's plan. And even if His plan didn't include me finishing, I think I would've been ok, because I realized three huge things that day. Number one, God's plan is always what's best for me. Number two, I can talk to God and not have to be scared of what will happen or pray to Him and not be scared that He will hurt whoever I am praying about. And lastly, number three, I finally realized what people mean when they say that God can see everything while we can only see what's right in front of us. I really understood that, it's kind of like I could see the road in front of me and the people in front of me while I was running, until there was a turn in the course, but God could see the whole course, no matter where I was on it. To me, those three things are bigger than running an entire half marathon or beating my goal time I set for myself, or even beating my parents time.
Which, by the way, I finished in 2:45 and my parents finished in 2:50ish. Boy was I sore later that day and the next day. But I was SO gald I ran the race and finished it. I was sore, but I felt good, crazy, I know. But the cool thing is that I rarely feel pain, I mean I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and so for me to have been sore that day and the next and to have felt that pain in my ankles, no lie it hurt, but it was cool, because I really got to realize how people feel when they say they are sore or can hardly move or walk or when they've hurt something. Not that I would ever wish for someone to be in pain or hurt like that, but to me it was kind of cool. I thank God that I don't live life everyday feeling pain or not able to walk or things like that. And crazy thing, after I finished I got a bottle of water and a banana and I was ready to keep running. :)
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